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NoMoreLiesToTell
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Name: Nicole
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Birthday: 10/1/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: I am very interested in becoming a psychologist. I think human behavior is beyond interesting. I love to learn and that line of work would always be challenging.
Expertise: I am an expert at helping everyone but myself. lol, that's the honest truth.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
6/13/2004
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| I'm updating! My first entry was just about my life. Now I'll tell you about the love of my life. His name is Anthony. We went out for a year and a half and broke up to see what else was out there. We both found out that no one else is perfect for us and have decided to try it once more. He's the most amazing guy I have ever met. Our relationship isn't like the typical high school "going out" thing. We actually love eachother. We have never had sex because we are both waiting for marriage. I am the tempter in this relationship because I find it very hard to stay away from sex. His job is to resist my advances as much as possible. We've come very close to breaking that rule, but we've done a pretty good job so far. I never realized how hard it would be until I met my soulmate. Not having sex is VERY difficult. I know some of you are thinking "Oh, she just thinks shes in love", but it's very true. We are very mature in our relationship. We sometimes just stop what we're doing and look into eachothers eyes and ignore everything around us. Everyone says we're going to get married. We keep our relationship very private at school because we dont want anyone trying to ruin what we have. No one knows that we're dating. They just think we're best freinds and they're right we are best friends. We haven't been able to see eachother this summer because his parents want him to go out with as many girls as possible. They think we're getting too serious. They love the fact that I refuse to have sex before marriage, but they still hate the fact that we've been going out for so long. We spent a year apart and that wasn't good enough for them. My mom doesnt have a problem with us being together. She said if two 16 years olds can make something work for 2 and a half years then we should be together. I love that about my mom. She's very understanding and we have a very open mother daughter relationship, just not when it comes to drugs. No one understands how I can be a good person and be addicted to pain killers. It started out in 7th grade. One of my friends bought some from this little boy in our science class and we took them. I have been taking them for years and I dont see the need to ever stop. I only take them to get away from stress and relax. I used to take too many and I could pinch myself and couldnt feel anything. Now I only take 2 pills at night to help myself relax. I have come a long way from the way I used to be. I'm proud of myself even if no one else is. My boyfriend hates it and I expect him to hate it. If he didnt care what I took then he wouldnt be a perfect boyfriend. | | |
| Ok, I'm going to tell everyone about myself. I have tried to keep myself from being hurt my whole life and I've decided that enough is enough. I'm going to lay it all out on the table for everyone to see. My problems started back when I was two years old and molested by my father. My dad raped and beat my mother ever since I could remember. When I was 12 my father was diagnosed with ALS. My family went through hell until he died in 2002. I went though emotional and physical abuse everyday of my life until then. I don't expect people to feel sorry for me or even care what happend to me. I dont dwell on the past and I hope everyone understands that. From then on I have lied to my family and friends. I told my mom I stopped taking prescription pain killers, but that doesn't seem to be happening soon. I also told my friends that i don't deal with panic attacks and depression anymore. i am very good at puting on a brave face so that no one knows I'm hurting. I'm not perfect and I am very forgetful. If I sound like someone you would want to know then keep reading if not, I am sorry that I wasted your time. Ok, for those of you that are brave enough to accept the task...Thank you. I love to make people laugh and I always try my hardest to make everyone comfortable around me. I look like your average preppy high school girl. I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and I am 5'7". On the outside I am fooling everyone and sometimes even myself. on the inside I have pain. I have never physicaly hurt myself, just taken a few too many drugs. It has taken me 2 years to get to the point of forgiving my dad for what he did to me. My therapist said that I have made a 180 turn from what i was 2 years ago. I feel so much better now that I ever have before. I just need people that understand my past and want to be with me in the present. I get tired of helping people sometimes and want them to help me. I love animals more than anything in the world and would do anything to keep them safe. I want to join PETA after I graduate from high school. My whole mission in life is to help others. That is something that makes me truly happy, but like any job you get tired of it every once in a while. I am a deep thinker and I love anything that has to do with psychology. | | |
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